DAD JOKES TO SAVE THE DAY
Dads often have the habit of telling pun-laden, one-liner jokes. Even though dad jokes often make us groan, we secretly love these fatherly zingers that are so bad, they are good. Here are a few dad jokes to get your family started.
I'm afraid for the calendar. - Its days are numbered.
Why do fathers take an extra sock when they go golfing? - In case they get a hole in one!
I asked my dog what's two minus two. - He said nothing.
I forgot how to throw a boomerang the other day – then it came back to me.
“Dad I’m Hungry!” – “G’day Hungry – I’m Dad.”
Why did the cockatoo sit on the clock? - So he’d be on time!
What do you call a factory that makes good products? - A satisfactory.
Have you heard about the chocolate record player? - It sounds pretty sweet.
What did the ocean say to the beach? - Nothing, it just waved.
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? - Because if they flew over the bay, we'd have to call them bagels.
Why did the boy cross the playground? - To get to the other slide.
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. - It was bread in captivity.
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. - That would be a big step forward.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? - Great food, no atmosphere.
What happens when you take a watch on a plane? - Time flies.
What did the platypus say when he bought some lipstick? - Put it on my bill.
What time did the man go to the dentist? – Tooth-hurty.
What do you call a fly with no wings? - A walk.
Shopkeeper – “Would you like the milk in a bag?” Dad – “No just leave it in the carton.”